Murder in Bikini Bottom
by agentmulder
Summary: Spongebob throws a party and when the power goes out is killed. Inspector Finnigan, Fin for short, comes to figure out whodunit. My first fic, please R&R! COMPLETE! Look for sequel soon!
1. Party Time

Spongebob

"Murder in Bikini Bottom"

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Spongebob.

Intro: Spongebob throws a party and when the power goes out is killed. Inspector Finnigan, Fin for short, comes to figure out whodunit.

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It was a rainy day in Bikini Bottom. Spongebob decided to throw a Sunshine party to remind everyone of the warm sun. He invited his closest friends: Patrick, Sandy, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs. After the party and finally started, everyone was having a good time and were all reminded of the sunshine. All of a sudden, the power went out. Everybody panicked and Spongebob decided to see what was going on. Suddenly they heard a shriek that sounded like Spongebob. Then, the power came back on. Everybody went to the kitchen where Spongebob was had screamed. They all stopped and stared as they saw their best friend, lying there, dead on the floor.

"I can't believe he's actually dead," said Squidward. "Yahoo!"

"Call 911," said Sandy.

About an hour after the crime was committed, Inspector Finnigan arrived at the scene.

"Who the hell are you?" asked Squidward.

"I'm Inspector Finnigan, Fin for short."

"Well, Howdy-u-do Inspector?" said Sandy.

"I am here to investigate the murder of the sponge named- wait what was it? Oh yeah, Spongeboob you call him."

"Its Spongebob," Mr. Krabs corrected. "And that boy is the best fry-cook I ever had, so you best find out who killed him."

"Don't worry, I'm on it. Let's start by questioning all of you."


	2. Suspect 1: Patrick

Spongebob

"Murder in Bikini Bottom"

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Spongebob.

Intro: Spongebob throws a party and when the power goes out is killed. Inspector Finnigan, Fin for short, comes to figure out whodunit.

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"Okay, well I'll start with you," he said pointing to Patrick.

"Me?" Patrick said.

"Yes, what's your name?"

"Patrick Star."

"Why were you here tonight."  
"Because Spongebob's was throwing a party and he said he'd have lots of food."

"Ok, how long you known Spongebob."

"Forever."

"And you Spongebob are close?"

"Yes, we're best friends."

"Has done he done anything lately to make you mad?"

"Yea, he scared the hell out of me and made me pee in my pants."

"But nothing serious, right?"

"I guess not."

"Ok Patrick, how did you feel when you learned of Spongebob's death?"

"I felt sad."

"Do you realize you'll never see him again?"

"What are you talking about?"

"He's dead, that means he won't be able to talk to you anymore."

"What!"

"Ok, well it's pretty clear that you have the mind of a child and aren't really cut out for murder. But, that doesn't mean I could rule you out. What were you doing when the power went out?"

"I was going to the bathroom."

"Really? You have proof of that?"

Patrick turns around and shows Fin the back of his pants, which are covered in poop.

"Is that proof?"

"Yes, yes I believe it is."

"I'm I done?"

"Yea, I guess. Go get the squirrel."

"What's a squirrel?"

"Go get the girl."

"Oh, Sandy. Okay."

After a couple of minutes, no one had shown up. Fin went back out to the living room. He found all his suspects playing Twister.

"Right foot red," Mr. Krabs said.

"Krabs, I have two right legs!" Squidward exclaimed.

"Okay, well then put the right right leg on red."

"Excuse me!" Fin said.

"Yes?"

"I need to speak with the squirrel. I believe her name is Sandbox or something like that."

"It's Sandy. Hold on, let me whoop the suckers at Twister."

"It's really not the time, I mean your friend just died."

But while Fin was blabbing on, Sandy tickled Squidward and Patrick and caused them to fall.

"I win, you bunch of lollygaggers."

"What's a lollygagger?" Patrick asked, but Sandy was already gone.


	3. 2nd suspect: Sandy

Spongebob

"Murder in Bikini Bottom"

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Spongebob.

Intro: Spongebob throws a party and when the power goes out is killed. Inspector Finnigan, Fin for short, comes to figure out whodunit.

"Sandy, I need to ask you a few questions involving Spongebob and the murder."

"Yea, what do you want?"

"Well, to start out, why were you here tonight?"

"Spongebob invited me to his party fer-cryin' out loud."

"OK, how long have you known Spongebob?"

"Since I came to Bikini Bottom a couple of years ago."

"Uh, are you and Spongebob close?"

"Well yeah, he is my best buddy you know."

"Well actually, I didn't. Anyway, has Spongebob done anything lately that made you feel really mad?"

"He woke we up while I was hibernating and he filled up my tree dome with water last week."

"Yeah, how did you feel when you learned of Spongebob's death?"

"I felt shocked, but I got over it after I kick butt at Twister."

"Mmmm.. What were you doing after the power went out?"

"I was practicing my karate."

"Really, where is your proof of that?"

"Squidward!" yelled Sandy. "Get over here."

Squid ward walked into the room. His eye was popping out of its socket and he was all beaten up and bruised.

"I see," said the Inspector.

"Can I get back to our game now."

"Yes, Squidward," said Inspector Fin.

"I am done with you, Sandy."

"Good."

In the living room, Mr. Krabbs, Patrick, and Squidward were playing Scrabble.

"Uhh, how do you spell bunny?" asked Patrick.

"I need to speak to the crab, Mrs. Snapps I believe it was.

"Its Mr. Krabbs, you landlubber."


	4. Mr Krabbs Interview

Spongebob

"Murder in Bikini Bottom"

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Spongebob.

Intro: Spongebob throws a party and when the power goes out is killed. Inspector Finnigan, Fin for short, comes to figure out whodunit.

"Mr. Krabbs, why were you here tonight?"

"I got invited over to a party."

"I see. How long have you known Spongebob?"

"I've known the lad ever since he started working fer me. He was the best damn fry cook I had ever saw."

"Were you and Spongebob close to each other."

"Yeah, he worked right next to me office."

"I meant did you and Spongebob have a strong bond?"

"Oh. Of course we did."

"Has he done anything lately that made you want to hurt him."

"You betcha. He went and feed my money to a seahorse. I was angry as hell, mate."

"Yes…now how did you feel when you learned of Spongebob's death?"

"I knew I had to get me another fry cook so I can get me money."

"I need to ask you one last question Krabbs. What were you doing when the power went out?"

"I was counting me money."

"Really. Do you have proof of that?"

"How the hell am I supposed to show you proof."

"Show me the money."

"What?"

"Show me the money."

"No way man, you are not getting me money."

A penny popped out of his pocket and rolled on the floor.

"No! Me penny!"

"Mr. Krabbs dove on floor but the penny already fell down the heating vent."

"No!"

Mr. Krabbs started to cry.

"Mr. Krabbs, we are done here."

They both walked back into the living room where everyone was playing Jenga.

"Don't screw up Patrick," Squidward snickered.

Patrick was pulling out from the bottom and the whole thing fell to the floor. Patrick got really angry and threw all the pieces.

"Harharhar..Choke." Squidward stopped laughing.

"Ah…I need to speak with you next uhhhh oh yea, Squidturd Tennisballs I think it was."

"It's Squidward you idiot. Let's get this over with."


	5. Squidward's Turn

Spongebob

"Murder in Bikini Bottom"

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Spongebob.

Intro: Spongebob throws a party and when the power goes out is killed. Inspector Finnigan, Fin for short, comes to figure out whodunit.

"So, Mr. Tennnisballs-"

"It's Tentacles, you idiot!"

"So, Mr. Tentacles, why were you here tonight?"

"Honestly, I have no idea, Spongebob is the most annoying idiot I have ever had the unpleasure to work with. And I have to be his neighbor."

"How long have you known Spongebob?"

"Ever since he's been my neighbor."

"Are you and Spongebob close?"

"Are you kidding? I hate Spongebob, he is the stupidest idiot I have ever met."

"Has he done anything lately that has made you mad?"

"Everything he does makes me mad!"

"I see. Is that why you killed him Mr. Tentacles?"

"What? I did not kill Spongedork over here. Yeah, I hate his guts, but I did not murder Spongebob. I wish it were me that killed him, but I didn't!"

"Really. Then what were you doing when the power went out?"

"I was in the kitchen-"

"Aha! You were in the kitchen when Spongebob died! You did it!"

"No I didn't! I told you I did not kill Spongebob!"

"Tell it to the judge Mr."

"Wait, I saw something while I was in the kitchen. Maybe it was the killer!"

"Yeah right. You aren't going to get away with it this time Squidward!"

"What else have I done that I got away with?"

"I don't know! I just felt like saying that."

"Uh, sir."

"Yes Johnson?"

"We got the autopsy reports back and it seems like he choked on a snail ball."

"Well then, it seems like none of these party members were the murderer."

"See! I told you!"

Yes, well, I am sorry Squidward."

As they walked back into the living room they saw the party members playing Blackjack.

"Hit me." said Mr. Krabbs.

BAM!

"Ow! Patrick why the hell did you hit me?"

"Because, you told me to."

"That's not what I meant."

"You guys are free to go. None of you killed Spongebob."

Just then, the doorbell rang. Patrick ran to open the door.

"Meow."


	6. The Real Killer

Spongebob

"Murder in Bikini Bottom"

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Spongebob.

Intro: Spongebob throws a party and when the power goes out is killed. Inspector Finnigan, Fin for short, comes to figure out whodunit.

"Oh hey! It's Gary!"

"Meow."

"Aha! It was you wasn't it Larry?"

"It's Gary," Patrick said.

"It doesn't matter! Gary was the one that killed Spongebob. I just know it."

"No way. Gary would never kill Spongebob." Patrick said.

"Yeah, there are plenty of other snails out there." Sandy said.

"Yes," said Inspector Fin. "But Gary lives here which means he was at the party when Spongebob was murdered."

"Meow!"

"No Gary, it couldn't have been you! You love Spongebob!"

"Meow. Meow. Meow."

"What! No! Say it isn't so Gary!"

"What did he say Patrick?" Sandy asked.

"He said he stole my last cookie! Now I can never forgive you Gary." Patrick started to cry.

"Meow. Meow."

"What! You killed Squidward too!"

"No you stupid idiot! I'm right here Patrick."

"Oh. Sorry Squidward."

"Meow."

"No! We are not foolish mortals!" Patrick yelled.

"Meow. Meow."

"What! You killed Spongebob! How could you Gary?"

"Meow."

"What? How do I shut my face?"

"Meow."

"Huh?"

Gary opened his shell and shot out a net that caught Patrick.

"Oh no!" Sandy said. "This can't be happening!"

"Meow."

Gary did the same thing to Sandy, Mr. Krabbs, and Squidward. After they were all tied up. Gary went for the Inspector.

"You'll never get me alive Gary!"

Fin took his gun out and told Gary to put his shell up.

Gary did and shot a whole bunch of ink right into the Inspector's eyes.

"Ow! Mommy! Save me please!"

"With that Gary snuck out of the house, opened his shell again, and flew out into twilight of night.

"I will get you Gary! Mark my words!" Fin shouted.

He ran out the door and ran into the distance.

"Hey! What about us?" Mr. Krabbs whimpered.


	7. Revenge

Spongebob

"Murder in Bikini Bottom"

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Spongebob.

Intro: Spongebob throws a party and when the power goes out is killed. Inspector Finnigan, Fin for short, comes to figure out whodunit.

Back at the house

Vroom!

"Hey did you here that?" Patrick murmured.

"Yeah. It sounded like a boat." Said Sandy.

Ding-dong!

"Well it seems like he is not home dear."

"Just grab the key from under the mat honey."

A few seconds later, the door opened.

"Omigosh! Why are you guys tied up?"

It was Mr. and Mrs. Squarepants!

"Are you guys okay?" Mr. Squarepants asked.

"Gary killed Spongebob and then tied us up." They all said at once.

"What! Spongebob is dead! He was murdered! Oh no!" Mrs. Squarepants started to cry.

"Listen dear. Maybe if we untie them, they will tell us the whole story," said Mr. Squarepants.

"Good idea honey. Get my chainsaw from out of the car."

"What?" everyone said.

"Yes, dear."

After Mrs. Squarepants cut through the nets, everyone sat down and Sandy told the whole story.

"If that's the case," Mrs. Squarepants said, "Let's go get him.

They all ran out of the house and got into the car. Squidward and Patrick had to sit in the trunk.

"Why do I have to be stuck with this moron?"

During the drive

"Eww! What is that awful smell?"

"Oh. Sorry Squidward. I had to go really bad."

"Ohhhhh," Squidward groaned.

After forty-five minutes of driving through town, the crew caught up to Inspector Fin.

"Where's Gary?" Mrs. Squarepants asked.

"Who the hell are you old lady," said Inspector Fin.

"I am Spongebob's mom, you stupid hole."

"Oh, I am dreadfully sorry."

"Shut your yap and get in the damn car."

"Yes miss."

"Which way did he go?"

"Who?"

"Gary you stupid retard. Which way did he go?"

"Oh. He went towards Rock Bottom.

"Damn."

"Kids. Buckle up. This is going to be a bumpy ride," said Mr. Squarepants.

Two hours later.

"Whew. We finally made it," said Mrs. Squarepants. "Where the hell is he?"

"Meow."

"It came from over there."

"Grab your weapons kids. This isn't going to be pretty."

"Patrick, mayonnaise is not a weapon."

"It isn't?"

"But miss, shouldn't we send him to ja-"

"Shut up! This snail killed my son, so I am going to kill him."

They walked towards where they heard the meow. It was Gary alright. He had two machine guns inside his opened shell, ready to fire.

"Charge!"

Gary shot tons of bullets, but none of them hit anyone. He had one last bullet. The machine gun fired and hit Mr. Squarepants right in the gut.

"Honey!"

"Take this!" Sandy torched Gary with her flamethrower but he was unharmed. "Damn!"

A few hours later

"Gary! I shall kill you! You murdered my son and shot my husband!"

Mrs. Squarepants picked him up to throw him, but Gary bit her.

"Ow! You bit me you bastard! You shall pay! Charge!"

Everyone jumped on Gary. Gary struggled and struggled, but it was no use.

"One, two, three!"

They threw Gary off a cliff.

"Meowwwwwwwwwww!"

"Whew! Glad that's over with," Mrs. Squarepants said.

"Yeah, let's get out of here," said Sandy.

They drove back up to Bikini Bottom and went there separate ways.

At the funeral everyone was crying. Well, everyone except for Squidward. His mind was secretly filled with joy.

"No more Spongebob. Wahoo!" he told himself.

After the six-hour long funeral was over, everyone went home and wept (again, Squidward didn't. He was throwing an I'm Glad Spongebob's Dead party).

After a couple days most things were back to normal. The Krusty Krab did go out of business because Krabbs couldn't find a good fry-cook and Plankton's Chum Bucket took over. Squidward was as happy as ever. Patrick was as lonely as hell, and Sandy quit karate because it wasn't fun anymore. Don't forget Mrs. Puff, she was the happiest teacher in the world.

Back in Rock Bottom

"Meow."

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Look for the sequel soon!


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